Trying to be Me

This is a poem I wrote at a time of deep personal pain.  I was frustrated at being misheard and misunderstood and underpins my journey into understanding myself better.  What I have learned is that that more I understand myself, the easier it is to truly care, listen to and hear others.   I have had the benefit of working with so many amazing people along the way and the process of Clean Language has helped me organise all of my thoughts, feelings and systems into a ‘box of jewels’ that I can now just dip into when I need to remind myself of resources I already have.  If any of it resonates with you, please do feel free to share any thoughts you may have.

Trying to be Me 

Trying to be me, Is all that I can do

Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel blue

Sometimes I feel anger, sometimes I feel cross

Sometimes I am plain confused, and other times I’m lost

 

Sometimes I feel joyful, and full of hope and fun

I could be so excited, I just want to squeal and run

All my friends and family can find me hard to understand

I want to make them happy, but I don’t think I always can

 

I may not say things that please them, or behave the way they want

But is it really better, to just put on a front?

What happens if I get scared? Or discover something new

It might be something that frightens me and then what do I do?

 

There are many ways I handle life, but they may not work this time

So how can I stay confident? When knowing the feelings are mine?

So what do we depend on? When nothing else makes sense

I guess it has to be that word that can make us all feel tense

 

Love is such a crazy word but gets us through the rough

When wanting to make ourselves feel heard we can often appear quite tough

All I really want for me Is to trust that I can be

The best in any situation enabling YOU to be your “Me”

 

Copyright:  Lesley Holyoake 2014

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